I’m not sure what happened,
but somewhere along the line our nothing became something to me.
the worst part about that is
now every fibre of my being is screaming to run,
to ruin it.
it’s screaming that it’s one-sided.
my heart is bursting into flames,
yours is trying to pour cold water to douse me with pain.
that I’m preparing myself to run into a brick wall again,
and soon enough I’ll be covered in bruises.
I didn’t want this to be anything,
and the problem is that it isn’t anything.
my heart has tried to plant its roots in your garden
while yours is trying to pick me out like a weed.
and my mind is saying
to stop trying to grow with you because
I’m not a flower you’re willing to feed.
though I’m unsure if my mind is playing tricks again,
and I’m not sure if you’re just a friend.
the worst part?
I don’t want to ask,
because frankly.. I’m scared to be right.
when they said his name, I didn’t think of the way his hand touched mine. for a second I forgot about the words I spit from my mouth when his tried to taste my tongue. no, I thought of when he spoke your name and asked what I saw in you. I remember that night you kept me safe when his hungry eyes saw me as nothing more than a mouse to chase. I may not remember that night, but I’ll never forget that in my darkest hours you were my light. I was the match and you were my flame. now you’re nothing but a burned out wick and I’m smoke in the wind. memories of us have began to fade but I’ll never forget how we burned together.
dear god, we could have set the world on fire.
i am a burning fire, flames run through my veins. he is a sea with eyes as blue as the tides that has settled the forest fires that began burning holes through my skin. with him i am as calm as the smoke that rises through these lungs. with each wave that washes over me when his lips touch mine, i am fine. dear god, i am fine.