New year, same love

You weren’t my New Years kiss
As my eyes swept the dance floor
You were nowhere in sight
Instead I had a woman grab my face
As I was hoping to taste your lips
I found hers instead

Later I had found you disappeared
Right before midnight to avoid making the mistake of kissing a strangers lips
Yet you held my hand and kissed me
In front of everyone

At that point I didn’t care for a clichĂ©
All I knew was I would spend another year
Only wanting you

You mentioned talking to my sister
In the midst of conversation
You had told her about your care for me
That you would date me in a heartbeat
But knew you’d only hurt me
I understand now
For you cannot love another
if you’re unwell

Finding our way out of the drunken mess
That’s unraveled through the night
We made it to your bed
As I lay in your shirt
You held me, tightly against your chest
Tears spilled out my eyes
I was happy you were here again

You apologized for being away
You didn’t understand why
Or how I put up with the hurt you constantly inflict on me
Half laughing, half crying
I explained you don’t run away from someone you truly care about
The distance was minor,
For I’m okay with a little pain
I just need you to know you won’t be left again

You told me you won’t leave again
However
You need not comfort me with lies,
I knew you would disappear
It’s who you are
And I’ve fallen in love
with every bit of you
Even the darkest corners that you regret showing me

Standing by your side
isn’t a question anymore
I’m not walking away,
I’ve told you before
Inconsistency is no bother

As I’ve stood by your side
Not hearing from you for over a month
But it’s worth it
To have you in my arms, right now
Even if it only happens once in a while

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