the 5am texts before you left

5:01am

Drunkly, you spilled out your thoughts;

“I’m sorry my actions have caused you pain. Please, never invest your beautiful self into unkind people again. At least now you have blunt me, telling you when you’re being naive. ”

5:03am

I hadn’t heard from you in a while, initially I was in awe. I mustered the courage to respond;

“If I’m being honest, the hurt I’ve endured isn’t entirely your fault. It’s my own. I’ve always called myself a dreamer, as I keep my hopes up even when there’s no reason to be hopeful. Typically, ends painfully – but it’s who I am. A blunt you is better than ugly people who say the prettiest lies.

5:10am

Silence – not long but unnerving.. you responded with words I’ve longed to hear:

“This here, the real you, the one that isn’t hiding anything, or covering things up with humour – the one that isn’t beating around the bush.. this is my girl.

Our inconsistency has become a constant variable in our lives. Something I’ve yet to understand, but have come to terms with.

We’ve found balance in our chaos within each other, not always there – but never, truly gone.

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