You’ve locked the doors again

When it’s late, and I can’t sleep..
I throw on your shirt
that no longer smells of you.
Somehow, it helps me remember
your hands holding me in the night.

You’ve run away again,

but as always you’re not far.
You’ve chosen to close yourself off
as I desperately try to pry my way in.

It’s not long before I realize
there’s no way to open your doors,
my keys no longer fit.

They’ve never fit.

You’ve just left it unlocked sometimes.

So I just stand outside,
Watching your lights flicker
I know you’re there,
but I also know you’re not

Emotionally unavailable
From 5am texts to no replies
I’m used to being denied
You’re uneasy with being vulnerable

When you’re ready, you know
that when you open those doors
I’ll be there to hold you,

I’m not going anywhere

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